Wah, gak terasa ternyata udah setahun gak update blog ini. Thank God, Daniel has recovered from gastroenteritis, so I have time now to posts again. I'd like to share a great book about parenting by Tedd Tripp : Shepherding a Child's Heart, published by Shepherd Press. Let's start from the Introduction.
Penulis melihat tendensi masa kini, di mana banyak anak belasan tahun yg mengesampingkan papa atau mamanya sebagai otoritas atau pengarah bagi kehidupan mereka. Budaya masa kini telah kehilangan arah terhadap tugas pengasuhan (parenting), dilatarbelakangi beberapa masalah. Banyak orang ingin memiliki anak, tetapi tidak ingin menjadi orang tua. Anak2 dibiarkan mengisi dirinya sendiri. Orangtua sangat sedikit memberikan waktu yg berkualitas bersama anaknya. Anak2 tidak lagi menerima peran penundukan diri dalam hidup. Perkataan orangtua, "you listen to me, kid, or I'll cuff you" tidak lagi mempan, karena budaya sekarang tidak lagi berespon terhadap otoritas. Orangtua jaman ini frustasi dan bingung. Anak2 tidak lagi berkelakuan sebagaimana seharusnya, dan orangtua tidak mengerti mengapa demikian. (Betul ya, memang seperti itu yg sering kita dapati. Malahan saya pernah dengar ada pasangan Kristen yg ogah punya anak karena kuatir gak bisa mendidik anak!)
Melalui buku ini, penulis menyatakan ada harapan untuk membesarkan anak in godly ways di abad ke-21 ini, dengan pedoman satu2nya yg aman, yaitu Alkitab (bukan pengalaman!) Alkitab memberikan beberapa visi untuk tugas parenting yg beragam :
- To be a kind authority
God calls you to exercise authority, not in making your children do what you want, but in being true servants - authorities who lay down your lives. The purpose for your authority in the lives of your children is not to hold them under your power, but to empower them to be self-controlled people living freely under the authority of God.
As a parent, you must exercise authority. You must require obedience of your children because they are called by God to obey and honor you. You must exercise authority, not as a cruel taskmaster, but as one who truly loves them.
- Shepherding your children to understand themselves in God's world
We have to shepherd our child to understand not just the "what" of his actions, but also the "why". As a shepherd, you want to help your child understand himself as a creature made by and for God. It involves investing your life in your child in open and honest communication that unfolds the meaning and purpose of life. Values and spiritual vitality are not simply taught, but caught. Parenting is shepherding the HEARTS of your children in the ways of God's wisdom.
- Keeping the gospel in clear view
The central focus of parenting is the gospel. You need to direct not simply the behavior of your children, but the attitudes of their hearts. Your children desperately need to understand not only the external "what" they did wrong, but also the internal "why" they did it. You must help them see that God works from the inside out. The grace of empowerment to live is found in the gospel. The gospel enables you and your children to face the worst in yourselves - your sin, your badness, and your weakness - and still find hope, because grace is powerful.
- Internalize the gospel
Each child in a Christian home will at some point examine the claims of the gospel and determine whether he will embrace its truth. The parent has a marvelous opportunity to help his young adult child pursue with honesty all his questions of faith.
- Mutuality as people under God
Kelak ketika anak kita telah menjadi besar, kita harapkan mereka pun dapat menjadi bagian dari keluarga Allah, bersama dengan kita, yang juga dapat membangun kita dan orang lain (sekalipun waktu kecil kita yg memberikan instruksi pada mereka).
Puji Tuhan! Semoga kita sbg parents ingat akan tanggungjawab kita utk mendidik anak dalam terang firman Tuhan. Kalau kita sendiri tidak bertumbuh, bgm mungkin kita mau mengajak anak utk bertumbuh?
To be continued ..... (hope to posts again, soon :)
Penulis melihat tendensi masa kini, di mana banyak anak belasan tahun yg mengesampingkan papa atau mamanya sebagai otoritas atau pengarah bagi kehidupan mereka. Budaya masa kini telah kehilangan arah terhadap tugas pengasuhan (parenting), dilatarbelakangi beberapa masalah. Banyak orang ingin memiliki anak, tetapi tidak ingin menjadi orang tua. Anak2 dibiarkan mengisi dirinya sendiri. Orangtua sangat sedikit memberikan waktu yg berkualitas bersama anaknya. Anak2 tidak lagi menerima peran penundukan diri dalam hidup. Perkataan orangtua, "you listen to me, kid, or I'll cuff you" tidak lagi mempan, karena budaya sekarang tidak lagi berespon terhadap otoritas. Orangtua jaman ini frustasi dan bingung. Anak2 tidak lagi berkelakuan sebagaimana seharusnya, dan orangtua tidak mengerti mengapa demikian. (Betul ya, memang seperti itu yg sering kita dapati. Malahan saya pernah dengar ada pasangan Kristen yg ogah punya anak karena kuatir gak bisa mendidik anak!)
Melalui buku ini, penulis menyatakan ada harapan untuk membesarkan anak in godly ways di abad ke-21 ini, dengan pedoman satu2nya yg aman, yaitu Alkitab (bukan pengalaman!) Alkitab memberikan beberapa visi untuk tugas parenting yg beragam :
- To be a kind authority
God calls you to exercise authority, not in making your children do what you want, but in being true servants - authorities who lay down your lives. The purpose for your authority in the lives of your children is not to hold them under your power, but to empower them to be self-controlled people living freely under the authority of God.
As a parent, you must exercise authority. You must require obedience of your children because they are called by God to obey and honor you. You must exercise authority, not as a cruel taskmaster, but as one who truly loves them.
- Shepherding your children to understand themselves in God's world
We have to shepherd our child to understand not just the "what" of his actions, but also the "why". As a shepherd, you want to help your child understand himself as a creature made by and for God. It involves investing your life in your child in open and honest communication that unfolds the meaning and purpose of life. Values and spiritual vitality are not simply taught, but caught. Parenting is shepherding the HEARTS of your children in the ways of God's wisdom.
- Keeping the gospel in clear view
The central focus of parenting is the gospel. You need to direct not simply the behavior of your children, but the attitudes of their hearts. Your children desperately need to understand not only the external "what" they did wrong, but also the internal "why" they did it. You must help them see that God works from the inside out. The grace of empowerment to live is found in the gospel. The gospel enables you and your children to face the worst in yourselves - your sin, your badness, and your weakness - and still find hope, because grace is powerful.
- Internalize the gospel
Each child in a Christian home will at some point examine the claims of the gospel and determine whether he will embrace its truth. The parent has a marvelous opportunity to help his young adult child pursue with honesty all his questions of faith.
- Mutuality as people under God
Kelak ketika anak kita telah menjadi besar, kita harapkan mereka pun dapat menjadi bagian dari keluarga Allah, bersama dengan kita, yang juga dapat membangun kita dan orang lain (sekalipun waktu kecil kita yg memberikan instruksi pada mereka).
Puji Tuhan! Semoga kita sbg parents ingat akan tanggungjawab kita utk mendidik anak dalam terang firman Tuhan. Kalau kita sendiri tidak bertumbuh, bgm mungkin kita mau mengajak anak utk bertumbuh?
To be continued ..... (hope to posts again, soon :)
